My best memories are of living in Queens, New York as a kid and walking to the edge of the world and back with my sister Melissa. We would talk about everything we could think of with bus after bus passing us by, not even realizing how far we had made it. Now that we are older and live in different states I think of those days and how they have shaped me today.
Growing up in New York City is a special experience. There is so much life and culture that I can remember being on the train and a group of boys getting on the train one day and doing flips and tricks turning my afternoon commute into a day at the circus! Or the day I walked down 165 Street on Jamaica Avenue when some middle aged men were huddled in a group singing “You make me feel brand new” by The Stylistics and they sounded just like the real thing! (Now that I think of it, maybe it was them…)
I have lived in very rural towns since then and now I see that I was a bit naïve to believe that if I could make it there I could make it anywhere. I am currently living in Enfield, CT with my husband and three kids and I still have not gotten used to it. Most of all I just don’t understand how people can live without sidewalks. Then again, I know people around here that drive from store to store at a strip mall. I’ve got the cure to obesity…use your legs!
I have not lived in New York since I was 18 years old which is about 10 years ago but when I cross that Throgs Neck Bridge I feel a calm come over me kind a like when you’re a kid and you have a bad dream and you jump and your mother’s bed and sink into it like “Ahhhhh…”.
These days I am a busy mother of three which keeps me on my toes to say the least. My dream is to make a living while being a cookie baking, homework helping, swing pushing, recital watching mom. The idea of owning my own business has crossed my mind several times as I have a lot of different ideas about different things I would like to do like a children’s clothing line or even a food truck. Whenever I have those thoughts I can hear the cynic in me shout “Oh shut up and get a real job!” which scares me straight!
I believe that there is a thin line between giving up on your dreams and giving into delusions and I struggle to find balance between the two. As a first generation American, it was always instilled in us growing up that education was the key to success which was defined by how much money you could make and the kind of possessions you could acquire. There was a lot of talk about this or that person’s accomplishments or failures since their arrival to the United States. This kind of thought did not leave much room for dreaming because the image of the starving artist was not one of promise or success.
My parents are hardworking people who never finished high school. My father in particular was a truck driver for years making it hard to spend quality time with him. However, he was able to support my chronic shopping habit and gave me an American Express card at 16. He asked me one day if I wanted the things or if I wanted to see him more. When I told him that I wanted to see him more instead, he told me that money makes the world go round and that I did not know what I was talking about. He is one of those people who believe that if he can obtain a certain dollar amount, he will finally be happy. I know better.
So this is my dilemma, should I risk loss of money I don’t really have to pursue something that won’t make me rich and may pay less than a “real job” but will make me happy every day? I have had a few real jobs that have made me absolutely miserable for 40 hours each week and left my bank account just above empty but I want more for myself and more importantly I want to teach my children to work hard at finding their own way in this world.
I like the way you wrote your bio! It is very honest and the first couple of paragraphs pulled me in!
ReplyDeleteHi SS,
ReplyDeleteI enjoy your writing style because it flows smoothly, yet contains a wealth of gentle insight. Or funny insights, as is the case with “use your legs!” When we write a post that begins with childhood, we often tend to “write the way we talk,” which often leads to grammatical mistakes and awkward sentences. But you have an effective balance of sophistication and personality. A great read!
I found your thoughts on big dreams, practicality and balance especially poignant. This line about your father struck me for several reasons:
“When I told him that I wanted to see him more instead, he told me that money makes the world go round and that I did not know what I was talking about. He is one of those people who believe that if he can obtain a certain dollar amount, he will finally be happy. I know better.”
First, specific details such as this exchange with your father make for great writing. I would even encourage you to break it down into actual dialogue with quotation marks and paragraph breaks, instead of using “he said, I said “method:
Do you want things? Or do you want to see me more?
I want to see you more.
Money makes the world go round. You don’t know what you’re talking about.
I also love the rhythm of this section, and how it ends with those three powerful words that clearly and concisely tell the reader all they need to know about you. Well done!
Your posts so far always give me a chuckle (maybe it’s a mom thing), and I appreciate how you incorporate humor into your writing. Your writing skills are solid. You have the goods. I look forward to seeing how you argue for your topic next week.
--Prof. Nichols